


Play Date

by GrayceAdamsArchive



Series: Keeping Away the Kinderlumper [2]
Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: ASL, Gen, German, Human AU, Human Perry, M/M, Single Dads AU, Single Parent AU, alternate universe-different first meeting, baby talk, children/babies, mention of off screen oc character death, mute character, parenthood is hard, single father AU, thoughtlessness, toddlers are sometimes a menace, very awkward flirting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-05-31 02:49:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6452467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrayceAdamsArchive/pseuds/GrayceAdamsArchive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Heinz managed to resist contacting Perry for fourteen hours and nine minutes. Not that he actually kept track or anything, but he figured if Perry had walked away less than a minute after Heinz had texted him back so they had each other’s numbers, the math was simple enough to figure out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Play Date

**Author's Note:**

> I've actually had about 90% of this sitting around for a while but I wasn't quite sure how to end it so...yeaahhhh.

Heinz managed to resist contacting Perry for fourteen hours and nine minutes. Not that he actually kept  _ track  _ or anything, but he figured if Perry had walked away less than a minute after Heinz had texted him back so they had each other’s numbers, the math was simple enough to figure out. 

Still, just over fourteen hours since he’d gotten the man’s number, he was sitting in the middle of Vanessa’s room, trying (and failing miserably) to get her dressed for the day. 

Instead of putting on her clothes, she had managed to squirm out of his grip and climb  _ inside  _ her toybox, hissing angrily and shouting at him whenever he got too close. He tried tempting her out with offers of breakfast, but she’d only chucked a barbie doll at him. 

He’d tried, he really had. Sure, he hadn’t tried especially  _ hard _ , but really, he  _ had  _ tried. Surely he could call in backup. God knew he’d earned a little backup after the last year he’d had. He could use someone batting for his team for once. And Perry  _ had _ said if he needed help...

Climbing to his feet, Heinz tugged his phone out of his pocket, chewing his lip nervously as he punched in Perry’s number (which he most certainly had  _ not  _ memorized overnight, thank you very much) and put the phone to his ear. 

“Are you  _ sure  _ you don’t want to come out of the toybox?” Heinz asked Vanessa as the phone started ringing on the other end of the line. Vanessa lifted the lid a bit to glower at him. 

“ _ Nein!”  _ she yelled, slamming it shut again. Heinz sighed, shifting from foot to foot as the call went into the fourth ring. Maybe he was still sleeping? It  _ was  _ only eight in the morning, after all. 

But then the ring cut off and some indistinct shuffling noises came through the speaker. 

Heart leaping into his throat, Heinz forced himself to speak, “Uh, _hiiii_ , Perry, it’s Heinz? From yesterday. The man with the screaming child.” There was a small huff of air over the line, and Heinz took that as an _I know,_ so he continued, “look, Vanessa’s shut herself in her toybox, and I can’t get her to get dressed, I don’t know what to _do_ with her, she’s never been this unruly, I don’t know what I’m doing _wrong_ and- _Vanessa!_ _Nein!_ No throwing! You almost _hit_ me!” 

“ _ Ja! _ Bama ma  _ nein _ bigiadish,” Vanessa cackled from her tiny fortress, a second block clutched in her hand, poised to throw. 

“I’m just-Perry, can you  _ help _ me? What do I  _ do? _ ” Heinz whined, chewing his lip and pointing a stern finger at his daughter, who grinned before vanishing back into her box. “Perry?” There was silence, and then a quiet, huffing sort of noise, like Perry was breathing short and fast against the mic. Heinz frowned, trying to figure out why he would be doing that. “What’s that sound? Are you… are you  _ laughing _ ? Why are you laughing, I’m failing as a father over here, and you’re  _ laughing  _ at me, why can’t you just  _ tell  _ me… how to… oh, my God. Oh, my  _ God _ , I can’t believe I— You’re  _ mute _ and I’m—I’m a  _ dummkompf,  _ I am  _ so— _ ” Heinz stammered, horrified that he’d  _ forgotten  _ that Perry couldn’t speak and then  _ called  _ him asking for a favor, how much of an idiot could he possibly  _ be? _ He continued stammering through what was probably the worst and most embarrassing apology of his life before realizing that Perry had  _ hung up on him.  _

“Ohhh,  _ mein Gott _ ,” Heinz cried, temporarily forgetting about his gremlin of a daughter in favor of worrying about how much he’d just offended the only (almost) friend he’d managed to make in years. Full-blown panic began to bloom in the pit of his stomach, but before it could choke him and send him spiralling into an episode, his phone vibrated in his hand. 

**Txt me ur address.** _ }P _

Heinz blinked at his phone for a few moments before carefully typing in his address and sending it, fingers shaking a bit as the knot in the pit of his stomach slowly loosened. 

**B there in about 15. Bringing** **my nephew. Hope u don’t mind?** _ }P _

_ No don’t mind, _ Heinz texted back, swallowing down a massive amount of nerves. Two very young children running around his apartment. He’d better lock up his workshop, just in case. 

“You,  _ Dämon Kind,  _ are going to be the death of me,” Heinz said grouchily, pointing at where the lid of the toy box was just barely lifted so Vanessa could peek out. She giggled and waved at him as he left her room to go lock the door that lead up to his workshop. 

Double checking that no spare inventions or tools were hanging around the apartment, he nervously tidied the kitchen and sitting room, wishing he’d maybe taken some time to keep it from looking like a half-furnished bachelor pad. Didn’t really help that he  _ was  _ a bachelor again, he supposed as he debated between leaving the TV off or putting on kid-friendly cartoons in another attempt to coax Vanessa out of her hiding place. He ended up dallying too long and then there was the demanding buzz of someone at the callbox downstairs. 

“Bam buuudiganicht!” Vanessa yelled from inside her room and Heinz threw a scowl down the hall in her direction as he reached the speaker by his front door. 

“ _ Per _ ry?” he said into the mic, wondering how the hell he was supposed to tell if Perry was there or not when he didn’t speak. He really needed to talk to the owner about possibly implementing a camera system. There was the quiet gurgle of a baby through the speaker system, and Heinz shrugged. 

“I’m gonna assume that’s you and your nephew, so I’m gonna buzz you in. Remember, top floor. First on the left.” Heinz pressed the door release and then nervously paced from the front door back along the hall to Vanessa’s room. His daughter had thrown the lid to her toy box wide open and was sitting among her things like a queen among treasures, murmuring to herself in baby words and sometimes bits of adult languages. 

Heinz nearly broke his neck rushing to open the door when a sharp rap sounded against the wood, and he quickly tried to pat his hair flat and cursed himself for not thinking to change out of his tatty pajamas and into actual clothes.  _ Dummkopf!  _ he swore silently as he tried not to yank the door open too eagerly. 

It was indeed Perry standing there, this time dressed in a bright yellow polo and jeans, orange sneakers peeking from under the ragged edges of his pants. He was wearing glasses today, thick framed ones that suited his face, and was carrying a backpack that looked full enough to burst at the seams any second. In one arm he was cradling a little boy that looked to be about a year old or so, bright green hair clashing terribly with his purple jumpsuit. 

“Wow,  _ green _ ,” Heinz said automatically, in lieu of a greeting. “Is that natural?” Perry nodded, pointing at his own hair as well. “Huh. Okay, well, um, come in. We just moved here, so it’s a little...uh,  _ unfurnished _ , but you know. With time, I guess, it’ll get better.” Perry patted him on the shoulder as he passed, stepping into the sitting room to set down his bag and unzip it with one hand. Pulling out a baby blanket and a few toys, Perry quickly set up a place for his nephew on the floor. Setting the boy down, Perry caught the baby’s attention with one hand, curling his fingers into a gesture that made Heinz think of the stereotypical surfer dude from the movies. Instead of shaking the gesture by his ear, though, Perry pushed his hand down and towards the green-headed child, palm down. The baby simply rolled onto his back, grabbing the nearest toy and shaking it above his body so it rattled. 

Apparently satisfied, Perry stood back up and headed over to Heinz, smiling and reaching out grab his arm again, this time more in greeting than in comfort. 

“Yes,  _ hello _ ,” Heinz said, returning his smile and trying not to feel giddy. “Um, Vanessa-” 

“ _ PAPA _ , ein mamamama ororo  _ NEIN! _ ” the previously mentioned child yelled from down the hall, and Heinz grimaced, putting one hand over his face. 

“ _ Yeah _ . There,” he muttered. “She won’t get out of her toy box, and she keeps  _ throwing _ stuff at me. I try to tell her no, but she doesn’t  _ listen! _ ” Perry squeezed his arm before letting go to take his hand. Heinz fought back the urge to flail, containing the reaction to a mere full-body twitch. Perry simply squeezed his fingers before leading him down the hall. 

“Uh, should you be leaving your nephew—” Heinz asked, resisting a bit and jerking a thumb over his shoulder to where the baby was trying to roll over onto his stomach. Perry waved his free hand, and Heinz shrugged, letting Perry lead him down the hall to Vanessa’s room. 

She was still in her toy box, standing and holding a blue rubber ball in one hand, a plush dinosaur in the other. She looked up as they entered her room, and grinned immediately at the sight of Perry. 

“Boom! Boo badaboom!” she shouted, dropping the dinosaur to point at him excitedly. He waved at her, then pulled Heinz all the way into the room, pushing him towards his daughter. She frowned at him clutching the ball tighter to her bare chest. “Papa, nein,” she said simply, glaring at him. “Mamamam badaboom.” 

“That’s nice, honey, but can we  _ please _ get dressed and eat breakfast now? Papa has to actually get some work done today,” Heinz pleaded, reaching out to pick her up. 

“ _ Nein! _ ” Vanessa yelled, raising the ball in preparation to throw. Heinz immediately started to back away, raising his hands to catch the incoming projectile. 

However, he never got the chance, since Perry stepped up behind him, one hand coming to press against the small of his back and the other darting forward to snatch the ball out of Vanessa’s grip. 

Her mouth popped open in surprise and indignation, and then her face screwed up as she prepared to start crying. Perry quickly dropped the ball to the floor and then reached forward to boop her on the nose. She blinked, startled, and fell back onto her butt in the box. Heinz winced, waiting for the inevitable cry. Instead, she started to giggle, and he looked around in shock. Perry was grinning next to him, pulling a silly face before turning to grin and wink at Heinz, hand still pressed against the small of Heinz’s back. Heinz’s stomach leapt at the expression, and he felt a slightly silly smile spreading across his face before he could stop it. 

Blushing and clearing his throat, Heinz turned to Vanessa’s closet, where her clothes for the day were laid out. 

“Are we read to get dressed now, sweetie?” Heinz asked, showing her the blouse and skirt he’d picked out for her. She glowered at him, smile disappearing. He groaned. How was this so  _ easy  _ for Perry? Heinz was her father, for goodness sake, shouldn’t this come naturally to him? 

Perry interrupted his brief inner monologue of self doubt with a tap to the shoulder, reaching past him into the closet to pull out a second outfit. Heinz frowned at him, but he just smiled and made Heinz hold both outfits, one in either hand, before turning back to Vanessa. 

Perry gestured to her, and then from one set of clothes to the other, as if inviting her to choose which she’d like to wear. Her eyes got huge as she realized that he was letting her pick, and she quickly climbed out of the box to run over to them, clapping her hands and squealing in excitement. She danced from one outfit to the other, seeming to take the task of picking one very seriously. She stared at each for several moments, touching each bit of fabric and inspecting her choices very carefully. After a few minutes of drifting back and forth between the two, she grabbed at the one Heinz had originally offered her. 

“Papa, want eine mamaman badaboom boo!” she yelled, yanking on his arm a bit as he handed Perry the rejected outfit, feeling a little dazed. That’d been a little odd, for him. He’d been picking out Vanessa’s outfits for her pretty much since she’d been born, and he’d never thought to let her  _ choose  _ what she wanted to wear. Perry shot him a sly grin as he helped Vanessa button her blouse, and Heinz peered at him thoughtfully, wondering how he knew so much about toddlers when his nephew was still only a baby. 

After Vanessa was dressed, she raced out of her room and down the hall, shouting, “Froo-stuck, froo-stuck!” Heinz and Perry followed more slowly, Perry pulling out his notepad and beginning to write quickly, keeping the pen cap between his teeth. Heinz peeked into the living room to see Vanessa crouching by Perry’s nephew, staring at him in apparent fascination while he returned her gaze, looking generally unimpressed. 

“Vanessa,  _ spielen schön _ ,” Heinz warned, worried that she would grab or push him. Vanessa hadn’t ever been around a younger baby before, though she’d met a cousin who was just a few months older when he’d taken her to Gimmelshtump to meet her grandparents. The  _ only  _ time she would meet them, if he could help it, he thought bitterly. 

“Papa, froo-stuck?” she said, looking up to watch him as he walked into the kitchen. 

“ _ Ja _ ,” he replied, putting together a half-decent breakfast from what was in his cupboards and fridge. He really needed to catch up on his grocery shopping. As he was preparing Vanessa’s plate, Perry came up beside him and set his pad on the counter by Heinz’s hand. Picking it up, Heinz quickly read the lines of handwriting. 

_ V is 2, right? she’s going to need more independence. give her choices like w/the clothes. gives her more a sense of control and makes her happy. Also, distractions. u keep acting like you’re afraid ur going to hurt her, ur not. Have fun w/her. She’s reacting to u negatively because ur worried and scared around her all the time. u being tense and stressed makes her tense and stressed.  _ _ Relax _ _. She’s ur kid she’s gonna love u no matter what. ur gonna screw up sometimes and that’s okay. Learn and move on. From what i’ve seen ur a great dad, Stop worrying. She’s happy and healthy and the only reason why she’s acting out is because she’s reacting to u. She bounces off me just fine. Give her something good to bounce off of and u’ll be golden.  _

_ Also my nephew’s name is Ferb.  _

Heinz read over the notepad several times, and Perry left him to it, taking over preparing breakfast like it was the most natural thing in the world. Vanessa came sliding into the kitchen, grabbing Heinz’s leg to keep from slipping in her stocking feet. Startled, he looked down at her, and she stared up at him, looking uncertain. He tried a tiny smile, and she blinked, then grinned brilliantly up at him. 

“Papa, boo diggen dee bababa badaboom,” she babbled, tugging on his pajamas (and nearly pulling them  _ down _ before he grabbed the waistband and held them up) before letting go to grab Perry’s leg in turn. He paused in arranging apple slices in order to look down at her in mock surprise, eyes opened comically wide and mouth stretched into a big O shape. Vanessa giggled and babbled up at him as he grinned at her and resumed making up the plates for three people. 

“I’m from Drusselstein,” Heinz said suddenly. Perry paused, glancing over at him before motioning slightly in an invitation to continue. Heinz cleared his throat weakly. “I came here when I was sixteen, almost twenty years ago, now.” Perry started slightly, and then grinned, shaking his head. 

“What?” Heinz asked defensively, but Perry just continued shaking his head, biting his lower lip to keep from grinning. Heinz scowled, reaching over to take the finished plates from Perry and carry them to the tiny kitchen table. Vanessa clung to Perry’s leg as he followed Heinz, and he reached down to pry her off and then hold her up for Heinz to take. Lifting her up into the air, Heinz bounced her a bit (much more safely than Perry’s wild tossing yesterday, he thought), earning a giggle before settling her into her high chair and putting her breakfast in front of her. 

“So, Ferb?” Heinz asked, remembering the last note on the pad. Perry grinned and nodded. “Is it a nickname?” Another nod and Heinz mused slightly on what Ferb could possibly be short for. “Tell me it’s not short for… oh, _ I _ don’t know,  _ Ferbs _ ?” he asked, stressing the S. Perry blinked at him and then started laughing, shoulders shaking silently as he shook his head. Glancing around he frowned at where his pad was laying on the counter, several feet away. Shrugging, Perry reached over and grabbed Heinz’s wrist, turning his arm over to trace the tip of his finger over the inside of Heinz’s forearm. Goosebumps raced along Heinz’s skin, and he had a temporary moment of regret for making the artificial sensory system so damn sensitive. 

It took two tries for Heinz to realize Perry was writing out Ferb’s full name, and then another three, slower passes for him to get the whole thing. 

“Frenn… no Fred—no, sorry, sorry! Frank—Franklin?” Heinz grinned when Perry nodded, smiling brightly. “Franklin! Alright. Don’t know how you shorten that into _ Ferb _ , but whatever floats your boat, I guess.” Perry just shrugged, popping a bit of apple between his lips. 

“Papa, want down!” Vanessa interjected, grabbing her empty plate to smack it against her high chair tray a couple of times. Heinz abandoned his own half-eaten breakfast to free Vanessa, setting her back on the ground. She immediately went back to observing Ferb where he was laying on his back, a smooth pink plastic ring in his hands and mouth. She made a cooing noise at him, reaching out to pat his stomach. He gurgled quietly around the ring, kicking his feet a bit and grinning toothlessly. 

“So, uh, how old is he?” Heinz asked, sitting back down at his breakfast and motioning with his head at the green-haired baby. Perry held up a finger, pushing his empty plate away with his other hand. “One? He’s tall for his age, isn’t he?” Perry shrugged, watching as Heinz pushed his food around his plate awkwardly. A few moments of silence passed between them, broken only by Vanessa’s occasional burst of baby talk as she watched Ferb attempt rolling onto his stomach again. 

“Thanks for, um, coming over to help,” Heinz burst out, flushing, “especially after I, er,  _ called  _ you. That was stupid of me.” Perry grinned and gave him a thumbs up, shoulders shaking with silent laughter. “Well I’m glad  _ you  _ got a kick out of it,  _ I  _ nearly died of embarrassment,” Heinz muttered, giving up on eating to stack his plate on top of Perry’s. Grabbing both he retreated into the kitchen, ears burning a bit with embarrassment. 

Dropping the plates in the sink, he busied himself cleaning up what was left from making breakfast, looking anywhere but at the man sitting at his kitchen table. 

Which was why he didn’t realize Perry had moved until he turned around to see Perry standing right behind him, notepad in hand and pen between his teeth. 

Heinz yelped in surprise and nearly hit Perry in the face when he flailed. 

“Sorry!” Heinz wheezed, putting a hand over his heart. “You  _ scared  _ me!” Perry’s mouth fell a little slack and Heinz glimpsed something silver against Perry’s tongue before the shorter man grinned, grabbing the pen from between his teeth. He was holding his notepad in his other hand, and offered it up to Heinz. 

_ Not upset about phone call.  _

“That’s, uh, that’s  _ good _ , then,” Heinz said after a minute, swallowing reflexively with nerves. “You have to admit, it was  _ really  _ insensitive of me.” Perry just shrugged before tucking the pad back into his pocket. He helped Heinz tidy the rest of the kitchen, even wiping down Vanessa’s high chair for him before they both joined the children in the sitting room. Heinz perched on the couch while Perry went ahead and sprawled on his side next to Ferb, propping his head on one hand and tickling at the baby’s stomach at the other. Ferb squirmed and grinned but didn’t make much noise. Vanessa watched for a moment, apparently fascinated with the younger child before turning to her father. 

“Papa, baba boom gwee?” she said, pointing between Perry and Ferb. Heinz nodded, unsure what she was getting at. She reached out for him, fingers grasping as she frowned at him. “Papa, here!” She stopped reaching in order to pat her palms against the floor between her and Perry. Heinz hesitated, and Perry looked up from where he was grabbing Ferb’s foot. He smiled softly at Heinz, brown eyes seeming to dance with amusement behind the lenses of his glasses. Slowly, Heinz slid down from the couch and ended up kneeling between his daughter and Perry awkwardly, trying to take up as little space as possible. Not an easy task, what with all his lanky limbs and nearly six and a half foot tall stature. 

“Baba gwee,” Vanessa said, patting the back of Heinz’s hand before reaching out to touch Ferb’s knee. 

“Baba gwee,” Heinz repeated automatically, fingers tapping anxiously against his thigh. He was terrible at socialization, and the last time he’d liked someone as much as he was beginning to like Perry, it hadn’t ended well. Vanessa grinned up at him before leaning over and putting her head on his knee, blowing a loud breath out between her lips. Heinz ran a hand over her hair, which was wilder than usual from not yet having been brushed. 

“So, uh, what do you  _ do _ ? I mean, besides help useless fathers and take care of your nephew,” Heinz asked, grasping for conversation. Silence made him nervous. 

Perry looked up and shrugged, reaching behind himself to tug out his notepad again. 

_ Brother owns antiques shop. Run it for him when he takes days off, stay home w/Ferb rest of the time. What do you do?  _

“I’m an inventor,” Heinz said. “Well,  _ sort  _ of. I’m  _ trying  _ to be an inventor. A lot of my stuff doesn’t work, or doesn’t work the way I  _ intend  _ it to. Char _ lene _ helped me patent a few of my inventions, so I make a pretty steady income off that. I  _ really  _ want to work on prosthetics, but it’s hard to break into the field right off the bat. Maybe  _ someday _ .” Heinz smiled a bit, flexing the fingers of his left hand. His own limbs were completely unique, but he was sure he’d be able to apply the design for other people. He just needed to actually build some prototypes and maybe draw up some decent blueprints. But with Vanessa around full-time, it was hard to find the time. Maybe when she was older. 

After a little while of Heinz describing a few of his inventions to Perry, who listened attentively, Vanessa moved from leaning against Heinz to laying next to Ferb, babbling quietly at him in her own brand of English-German-baby while he stared at her. Heinz slowly relaxed as well, slowly spreading from his tightly controlled kneeling to sitting sprawled with his legs stretched out and leaning back against Perry’s thighs a little. The younger man didn’t seem to mind, watching him with clear interest as Heinz gesticulated and rambled on. Heinz didn’t quite notice when he started grinning, though he was sure it was because he hadn’t had someone willing to listen to him and understand what he was talking about for ages. 

Around noon Perry reached over to touch Heinz’s shoulder, bringing his seemingly endless flow of words to a stop. 

_ Lunch? Need to feed Ferb.  _

“Oh, yeah, alright,” Heinz said, springing to his feet, glancing down at where Vanessa was sitting in front of the TV he’d switched on about an hour ago. “Vanessa, do you want a sandwich?” 

"Bababa meetagee?" Vanessa turned to look at him, rolling from a sitting position to lying on her stomach. 

Heinz took that as a yes, rubbing his hand over the back of his neck as he turned to look at Perry. The teal haired man was digging through his overflowing backpack, pulling out a baby bottle and container of formula, holding them up questioningly. 

"Oh, uh, if you wanna warm it up, there's a microwave above the oven?" Heinz pointed and Perry nodded, following Heinz into the kitchen. Heinz busied himself throwing together meat and cheese sandwiches with some sliced bananas on the side while Perry made a bottle of formula with the practiced ease of someone who'd done it a million times before. 

Heinz jumped and banged his knee on the cupboard door as Perry appeared behind him, setting down the bottle to put his hand on Heinz's back and lean past him. Perry plucked one of the sandwiches from the plate and stuck it in his mouth. He winked at Heinz when he noticed him staring, making him blush before Perry picked the bottle back up and headed back into the living room. Heart thumping a little faster in his chest than normal, Heinz grabbed the plate and a few paper towels. 

Vanessa giggled when Heinz prodded her in the side with his toes until she sat up again. He handed her half a sandwich wrapped in a paper towel and observed in mild defeat as she pulled the cheese free, a disgusted look on her face, and then dropped it on the carpet, pushing the remaining bread and meat into her mouth. Sighing, Heinz sat down on the couch, watching as Perry leaned down to scoop up Ferb, grinning at him before grabbing the blanket he'd been laying on between a couple fingers in the hand with the bottle and tossing it over his shoulder. He settled onto the couch next to Heinz, knee pressing against Heinz's thigh. Heinz fought not to twitch or fidget nervously as Perry settled the baby in his arms and offered him the bottle. Ferb pursed his tiny mouth and pushed at the offering with one hand, letting out a small, distinctly unsatisfied noise. Perry sighed, frowning at his nephew and nudging the bottle towards his mouth again. 

"Fussy eater?" Heinz asked after a few minutes of Perry unsuccessfully trying to coax his nephew into eating. 

"Papa, ammich," Vanessa said, patting his knee until he handed her another half of a sandwich. Another slice of cheese joined the first on the floor as Perry shrugged and nodded in answer, setting the bottle aside for a moment to give Heinz an uncertain look, like he was trying to figure out what to say, before finally just grabbing at his chest, squeezing a bit. Heinz stared, and Perry frowned at him, grabbing the bottle and wiggling it before repeating the chest grabbing motion. 

" _ Oh _ ! Oh, you mean he's used to  _ breast  _ milk!" Heinz said, pointing at him in realization. Perry nodded, giving a slightly pained smile before offering Ferb the bottle again. With a long-suffering sigh, Ferb latched on, giving Perry a mildly offended look as he started to drink. 

"If, um, if it's not too  _ personal  _ of me to ask," Heinz began nervously, tapping his fingers against his knee, "what happened to Ferb's mother?" Perry stiffened slightly and then shrugged a little, his face closing off. Heinz immediately backpedaled, holding up his hands. "Sorry! Sorry, I shouldn't have  _ asked _ ." Perry just shrugged again, watching his nephew drink half the bottle before pushing it away, face scrunched up. Sighing, Perry propped him up against his shoulder, bouncing him a bit with one arm before reaching out to take Heinz's wrist in the other hand. He turned his arm over to trace his forefinger against his skin again, much slower than usual. Heinz shuddered at the touch and then stilled as Perry wrote just two words: 

_ She died. _

Heinz sat frozen as Perry stopped tracing along his arm, fingers coming to wrap around Heinz’s wrist while Ferb burped against his shoulder. Sighing, Perry slid Ferb from his shoulder to the cradle of his arm, not letting go of Heinz’s wrist. It wasn’t quite holding hands, but it was close enough to make Heinz’s mouth a little dry. 

“Papa, nanners,” Vanessa called from the floor, reaching up with both hands grasping for him until he offered her the plate of sliced bananas. She pushed a few pieces into her mouth before sitting down in front of the television again, holding a couple banana slices in her hands as she watched cartoons. 

Heinz jumped when Perry’s phone went off, making that odd growling-chatter noise from his pocket until he juggled Ferb and the bottle and blanket until he could pull it out to check the message. He fiddled with his phone for a second before showing it to Heinz, a new text window pulled up to read  _ Gotta go. Bro needs help at the shop. I’ll text you.  _

“Oh, okay,” Heinz stammered, flushing when Perry lifted one corner of his mouth to smile at Heinz. Perry held Ferb out to Heinz, who took him after a moment’s confusion, eventually ending up with the baby cradled against his chest while Perry packed up the blanket and bottle and toys he’d taken out, slinging the backpack over his shoulder before taking Ferb back from Heinz. 

“S-so, uh, I’ll see you later then,” Heinz said, standing up as Perry nodded, bouncing Ferb on his hip as he wagged his fingers at Vanessa until she looked at him. “Say bye-bye, Vanessa,” Heinz encouraged, cupping her head when she scrambled to her feet, shoving one piece of banana into her mouth so she could grab onto Perry’s pant leg, scowling up at him. 

“Boom bada nein bye,” she pouted, and Perry knelt down to stroke her hair and drop a kiss on her forehead before getting up again, clapping a hand on Heinz’s shoulder as he walked towards the door. 

Perry waved when Vanessa chased after them to grab onto Heinz’s leg as he opened the door for Perry, and grinned when she let out a world-weary sigh. 

“Bye-bye,  baboom gwee,” she said, waving as Perry grinned at her. 

“Maybe we can, uh, do this again?” Heinz blurted before he could stop himself, and Perry nodded without missing a beat, giving Heinz a thumbs up before starting for the elevator. 

Heinz shut the door after him, trying to puzzle out the thick feeling around his heart. 

“Papa, up,” Vanessa lifted her arms when Heinz stood there for a second, making him blink. With a small smile, he bent down and scooped her up, hugging her as she started babbling in his ear, giggling when he bounced her and blew a raspberry close to her neck. 

Heinz grinned when his phone beeped, signaling a text from Perry. 

**Free on Mon & Wed. C U then?** _ } P  _ it read, and Heinz’s grin got bigger at the thought of seeing Perry again so soon. Typing up a response, Heinz sent it before he could lose his nerve. 

_Heinz{_ **It’s** **a date.**

**Author's Note:**

> It's been like 6 months and I'm still bitter about _Ferbs_.


End file.
